You Will Never Work At ESPN Old Skool Joe

The best thing about working at a fake magazine is there are no rules. I can do whatever I want  and never get fired, and there are no drug tests here because if there were the entire staff would be fired immediately.

Sometimes this relaxed attitude towards work can be a problem, like  the time my boss The Pink Panther simulated fornication with my wife using a mop handle.

I’m not even married.

That guy should really stop drinking.

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah.

So it is awesome working here, because I get to live out my ESPN fantasies.

Welcome to the 46 sports desk also known as the coffee table.

I’m pretty stoked for NFL championship Sunday!

Two games to determine who plays in the Super Bowl.

In the AFC we have the Indianapolis Colts at the New England Patriots. In this one I’m taking the Patriots, because in the movies the handsome actor always wins and gets the girl. Tom Brady is a handsome actor, and if I did have a wife she would not be allowed to be alone with him. Andrew Luck is a good quarterback but he looks like Bubba from “Forest Gump”, and we all saw what happened to that guy.

Ha!

In the NFC we have the Green Bay Packers at the Seattle Seahawks. I am going to pick the Seahawks in this one simply because I am a Bears fan and I hate the damn Packers.

How many damn State Farm commercials do we have to watch during the game?

Also who wears cheese on their head?

That is just dumb.

Also that was a catch last week and the Cowboys got hosed.

This along with the drug test thing is exactly why I will never work at ESPN.

It’s cool though because I work at a fake magazine, and you can’t teach that.

Sincerely,

Old Skool Joe

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