A Pink Panther –editor,stuffed animal, alcoholic
He may be a raging alcoholic, and verbally abusive at times, but there aren’t many stuffed animals as smart as Pink Panther. Starting a fake magazine was his idea. He told us he would pay the bills, for weed, and keep the refrigerator stocked, as long as we write fake articles for this fake ass magazine.
We don’t ask a lot of questions like… how does a stuffed animal pay for everything? Or…how is a stuffed animal able to pay taxes and own land…or a business?
We don’t ask those questions. It’s a fake magazine for crying out loud!
Old Skool Joe –senior writer, retired rapper, self-proclaimed fantasy sports expert, pothead
Old Skool Joe says he was a rapper with many fans in the 1980’s, but no one I know has ever heard of him. So I guess he is retired…he always talks about making a comeback album but all I ever see him do is smoke weed, and yell about what happened at the fish joint.
Spaceman Jones –senior writer, space traveler, deep thinker, a total pothead
Spaceman Jones might be from outer space, or he might just be a dude in an alien costume. One thing I do know is this guy smokes a lot of marijuana! Strange bit of information he drives a van with no tires, but he disappears for days…sometimes weeks.
Spaceman is a different kind of dude.
He always has money but I’ve never seen him go to work.
But again we don’t ask questions…this is still a fake magazine.
DJ 3Z3 -senior writer, DJ, keeper of the funk
Apparently he used to DJ for Old Skool Joe back in the day. They were in a rap group with the late MC Bucky B. A real cool character with a great ear for music. He has been gone for awhile but now he’s back and ready for action.
Where was he?
Remember don’t ask so many questions.
It’s a fake magazine.
He has been down since day one, and he’s staying.
Put your threes up bitches!
Sid “The Squid” Martinez/GreggIII/ Dr. S -senior writer
Right about now you want to ask a question.
How can a guy have three names?
You obviously haven’t met Sid.
This guy much like Old Skool Joe never seems to age. He used to run some kind of night club, but a crime situation caused him to change professions.
Something about people falling out of windows…don’t ask.
He also goes by GreggIII a world renowned author, journalist, and creator of the hashtag #letitbeknown.
And then there is Dr. S.
Don’t ask what the S stands for.
You can probably take a guess.
Sid is…complicated. And now he’s back here working at the fake magazine.
Goliath –dog, head of security